There are various ways that relating can differ from the stereotypical norm of 1 Man and 1 Woman… in fact there are so many ways that it can differ that new terms are being used to describe some of these variations all the time. A popular one that is find greater usage and acceptance is Polyamory. Meaning simply ‘Many Loves’… Polyamory itself is an umbrella term that includes an incredible range of diversity that covers most of the options beyond Monogamy. Not to be confused with Polygamy (multiple wives) or Polyandry (multiple husbands), the Many Loves approach is more inclusive of diversity and often changes in any given scenario over time. This is a story about one person’s approach to feeling compelled to explore relating beyond Monogamy.
In my first year at university, I developed a major crush on a man. He didn’t appear to return it.
Seven years later, he was married with children, and I was good friends with him and his wife. He and I had dinner one night and ended up kissing. We weren’t prepared for the torrent of passion that was unleashed by that kiss.
Monogamous wisdom taught me that in order to avoid breaking up his marriage, we should stop seeing each other, and so we did. Over the next five years, I did everything in my power to change the way I felt about him, including marrying someone else. I was determined to control my emotions.