Over 20 million couples in America are in sexless or near sexless relationships. When we talk to couples living this way, they often wax poetic about the passionate sex they had at the beginning of their relationships. So what happens to so many of us?
A key challenge to all relationships is stress. Couples who stay together will inevitably experience the effects of stress, regardless of how much chemistry they have or how loving they feel towards one another. The pressure to outwit our to do list keeps many of us in constant motion and chronically tense. With time, the demands of life require us to cross a canyon of chores; caretaking, work, finances and self-care just to find our way back to one another. Stress begins to build a barrier between our love and our levels of desire, Stress increases our blood pressure, which reduces blood flow to the genitals and diminishes arousal. Stress also tuckers us out. No wonder we’re not in the mood. For many of us, sex begins to feel like too much work.