Taste of Love Festival

exploring Sex Love & Intimacy

Too Stressed for Sex?

Over 20 million couples in America are in sexless or near sexless relationships. When we talk to couples living this way, they often wax poetic about the passionate sex they had at the beginning of their relationships. So what happens to so many of us?

A key challenge to all relationships is stress. Couples who stay together will inevitably experience the effects of stress, regardless of how much chemistry they have or how loving they feel towards one another. The pressure to outwit our to do list keeps many of us in constant motion and chronically tense. With time, the demands of life require us to cross a canyon of chores; caretaking, work, finances and self-care just to find our way back to one another. Stress begins to build a barrier between our love and our levels of desire, Stress increases our blood pressure, which reduces blood flow to the genitals and diminishes arousal. Stress also tuckers us out. No wonder we’re not in the mood. For many of us, sex begins to feel like too much work.

So what can catapult us out of this downward spiral into an upward one? It may seem counterintuitive, but it’s sex!

We can choose to nurture and protect ourselves and our partner from the effects of stress by making love. As paradoxical as it may seem, we can take the barrier we formed and turn it into a buffer against stress. We are not talking about sex fueled by falling in love, which creates a surge in desire, or the habits we all form around making love. Forget the preconceptions and expectations we all form about sex, and choose to practice Mindful Sex instead. Making love in a mindful way is about dancing with desire as it arises, not being stuck in habitual ways or the pressure of “performing”.  Mindful sex is a whole new mindset. It is not work, because it is constantly fresh and therefore constantly refreshing.

Read the full article at Passion and Presence

Maci Daye will be presenting an experiential session at the Taste of Love Festival in Byron Bay 2016, click here for full details.